Humming for Dummies
The Next in the Series
The experimental Joint Venture between McNicopedia and the iconic For Dummies brand has been surprisingly successful. The next in the series, Humming for Dummies may sound tautological but in fact was compiled by legendary hummer and soup-snoozer, Al McNicoll.
National Geographic Exclusive
Unique tapir species pictured learning millinery skills in the wild.
McNicopedia Launches Experimental Podcast
An open mic-style podcast was launched this week with a surprise contribution by a duo, known mysteriously as DHPM. Listen in full here.
Are you a McNicoll?
a) Borrow a loaf of bread from the neighbour.
b) Hop in the car and drive to the supermarket.
c) Deliveroo.
d) Get your bike out. It’s less than 50 miles to the nearest organic farmer’s market.
a) Sun, sea and sand.
b) Wind, waves and coastline.
c) Peace, quiet and a stack of books.
d) Sewage treatment plants, rain, 75-mile cycles and a trip to A&E.
a) Spot Goes Splash.
b) The Gruffalo.
c) The Velveteen Rabbit.
d) If they can’t read English and German by age two, they don’t deserve a book.
a) Your own name.
b) Your own name.
c) Your own name.
d) A name that is easier to spell but which you can’t now remember.
a) Send flowers and a handwritten note.
b) Call them and explain how much they mean to you.
c) Show up on their door and give them a hug.
d) Jot some absurd doggerel in a shop-bought card, and deface the message on the front to say something suitably rude about them.
a) The occasional dip in the summer.
b) Jet skiing.
c) A perfect vista for your watercolour landscapes.
d) The chance to terrorise the wildlife with lasers and the neighbours with elaborate dummy sharks.
a) Shoot a selfie together.
b) Take a stroll together around a nearby park.
c) Sit down with a cup of tea and a board game.
d) Groom each other for nits – real or imaginary.
Mostly A’s: How very vanilla of you. You probably have a surname like “Wilkinson” or “Andrews”, and you deserve it.
Mostly B’s: Your love for adventure is balanced, and your outgoing nature expressed in a friendly manner – you’re clearly not a McNicoll.
Mostly C’s: You’re clearly a calm, measured person and far too sensible to be a McNicoll. You’re also in jail for violating lockdown rules in #5.
Mostly Ds: Although an apostrophe would be acceptable in this instance, you have an involuntary twitch when you see one being used for this purpose. Congratulations! You’re a McNicoll.
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